Bruce Willis Ruins All Films - 26/03/2014

On Sunday I offered to go diving with a friend of a friend, however by the time he got my message he had booked on a RHIB. As such I never went diving. However, my acquaintance's experience would be quite different.

He (Diver 1) was to dive with another diver (Diver 2). They kitted up and headed for their target wreck on the RHIB, a token buddy check - they were afterall experienced divers - and down they went to over 30m. On the return the second diver was starting to feel very 'floaty' and, while trying to deploy a DSMB, rocketed to the surface. Leaving Diver 1 at the bottom of the ocean and having to ascend safely on their own.

Meanwhile on the surface helicopters were scrambled, the coast guard was called and hospitals were put on standby. Another 'bent' diver was to be assisted at great cost to the taxpayer. The reason? At least one of the divers failed to do a proper check with their buddy and had forgotten to put on their weight belt. 

Diver 2, also an acquaintance, is out of the woods and back home recovering thankfully.

This is why we buddy check. Not because we don't trust one another to put their kit on, but rather because we do trust one another to ensure that we're going into the water safely.
As for the title of this post, that's how I remember it - I was taught it at my very first SCUBA pool session.

• Bruce   = Buoyancy  - check BCD and drysuit
• Willis    = Weights    - right hand release weight belt and integrated into BCD
• Ruins    = Releases - BCD straps / weight clips on BCD
• All         = Air             - have I got air? Is it switched on?  Check my pony too.
• Films    = Final OK   - mask, fins, etc

Finally, if my buddy refuses to do a buddy check it's simple - I'm not diving. Instead I'll go watch Bruce Willis ruin a perfectly good movie.

The Sair Finger - 18/03/2014

You've hurt your finger? Puir wee man!  Your pinkie? Deary me! 

Noo, juist you haud it that wey till I get my specs and see!

Fear not readers! I shall not write this whole blog in Scots, my native dialect/language, but given the international readership I shall revert to standard English.

Above are the words of Scottish poet Walter Wingate, somewhat less known than Rabbie Burns, but just as loved. You see, whenever someone hurts their finger here in Scotland you can be assured that someone will quote the opening lines of Walter's most famous poem. We all learnt it as children.

As for me, I hurt my finger while dekitting after this dive, when I accidentally trapped my middle finger between two tanks. Well, it got bigger and bigger and it caused me some discomfort on my last dive, so on Saturday I decided to visit my local Minor Injuries Unit - it's like an A&E for uninspiring injuries.

Turns out the bang seems to have damaged my nail and caused a rather unpleasant puss filling infection. I'm on antibiotics and have to keep the finger clean, which means no diving for a good few days. As it is, the water is still too cold for Gillian and most of my usual buddies such as Laura, Fast Eddie, Andrea et al are all busy with "work".

Pah! Roll on next week!

The swelling begins