Nervous Passenger - 24/02/2019

When teaching, some dives stick out way more than others. The ones you remember tend to be when something goes wrong. We don't tend to remember the dives when you complete your objective without incident. However, today it went so well, and I learned a lot.

The plan was fot me to do three training dives with three different people:

• A 30m ascent
• A 2 minute swim with mask removal
• Drysuit buoyancy skills

The first two passed without a hitch, but the trainee I was taking in for the third dive, Prawn, had proven to be somewhat spooked and had refused to dive initially. 

I had a chat with her and convinced her it was worth trying again. I offered to physically hold her hand the whole time. I broke the dive down into stages.

1. Breath face down in the water

2. Kneel down in 2-3m of water(or swimming pool depth as I put it)

3. If we want to continue drop down a little deeper to 10m 

4. If she was happy, go for a wee swim

I spoke softly ( I always speak softly - I actually have a lovely voice, with a singing Scottish lilt), I reassured her.

We went in and had an excellent dive. Confidence restored. It was one of those occasions when it was all genuinely rewarding.

New To The Night - 21/01/2018

I'm often asked if I'd be prepared to take people on a night dive. My general feeling is that they think it's a more exciting way to dive. I mean, diving in the dark is pretty spooky right? For me, it's not so much about the darkness, or the excitement but rather my availability to dive.

Tonight was one such night. There was a small group of us, but I was buddying someone with a c considerable amount of diving experience in warm blue water, but limited experience in a drysuit at night.

I led him about St Catherine's, Seal Reef. Staying shallow. Keeping an eye on him. He did well and presented me with no unwanted surprises. As a reward, I showed him where the nudibranchs live. He was appreciative.

The Stranger in the Dark - 21/12/2018

With Christmas holidays fast approaching I took the decision that I could sleep later in the week and so embarked on 4 dives over three sites in around 40 hours.

It started with Jester and Chairman Andy joining me for a Friday night dive at St Cats. As Andy is heading towards his ScotSAC Masters Diver award we headed down beyond 30m to allow him to gain further experience at depth.

It was all pretty straightforward, then I saw a stranger. I hadn't met one in quite some time. In fact, I'd only met one once before a couple of years ago - the european squid. Thereafter it was pretty plane sailing but then something happened right at the end. As we floated at 5m doing a safety stop we could see a torch light glinting at the surface. Someone was on the surface waiting for us.

As we surfaced we could see the person on the shore. We got out and started chatting. Apparently we were chatting to nudibranch photography royalty in the form of Terry Griffiths. He was up visiting Scotland for one last diving hoorah before Christmas.

He was a nice chap and, as it turned out, he was going to be wildcamping in his van at the same spot as me the following night.

Diving with D - 10/12/2018

Diving with the Big Easy is always a straightforward affair. You kit up, go into the water and then you dive. Tonight was no different. Except we lost one another about 20 minutes into the dive. The vis wasn't bad, we just couldn't find each other. We both surfaced slowly knowing both of us had bail out gasses and were self sufficient should any air incidents occur.

At the surface we regrouped and continued our dive. Simple.

1,646 Days Later - 26/11/2018

It's been over 4 years since I last saw one. I hadn't thought about the fact I hadn't seen one in years, but when I saw it I was relieved.

Myself, Jester and the Big Easy headed out in my packed car to St Catherine's (for my 116th dive there) and curiously enough the Big Easy's first ever Scottish night dive.

We kitted up, with all of us testing out some kind of new toy. I was test driving my new Mares XR Heat Vest. I feel as a gentleman of a certain age I deserved to be able to enjoy the finer things in life.

We headed down, and as I swam towards the site's little speed boat I heard the Big Easy laughing into his rebreather. I turned and saw the flashing of Jester's camera. They had found something, something unusual. I approached. 

I recognised it straight away. I had seen one 1,646 days earlier at a secret site the Zookeeper and I explored - a cuckoo ray. It was a special memory for me, as it would become for both my buddies, who, prior to this dive, had never seen one.

We spent the rest of the time looking for a little cuttlefish which I had told the Big Easy were 99.9% guaranteed. We never found one. 

Oh, and the vest - even on medium heat - was toastie!

Cuckoo Ray

Cushion star

Spiny Squat Lobster and Spider Crab

Return to Normal - 29/10/2018

Me photographing the cuttlefish below.

After training dives, a trip overseas and a wee break. I returned to my normal night diving routine with Jester as a barely tolerable buddy. We kitted up wondering where exactly the loch was. As it was, it turned out it was low tide and I mean Barry White low tide.

We meandered down planning to dive to the small speedboat then to the bottom of the reef (taking advantage of the shallower depths) and back up. It was a pretty

Everything went to plan with loads of cuttlefish, pipefish, gurnards, scorpion fish and only a small amount deco that was worked off before we even got to the ceiling.

It was thoroughly pleasant way to spend 62 minutes, an experience only added to by the glow of the Milky Way above us as we emerged from the water.

Short Spinned Sea Scorpion

The cuttlefish I was photographing

Greater Pipefish

Gurnard

Last of the Summer Wine - 26/08/2018

Despite being a bank holiday somewhere in the world, but not Scotland, it certainly felt as though Jester and I were enjoying the last of the summer wine at St Catherine's. What had promised to be a very pleasant turned out to be pretty wet and miserable. To the extent that we decided one long 1hr+ dive to 38m and then on Gill.I.Am's request we headed for lunch at the old Inverbeg Hotel.

The dive was quite unspectacular but for a couple of scorpion fish. I paused briefly to take a couple of snaps.

Deep Learning - 22/07/2018

I like taking people down to where they've never been before. So after the wedding of two divers at Cairndow myself and the Chairman headed to Seal Reef to do a couple of 31m+ dives and attempt to sign off a couple of skills.

To help with the first skill a member of the Glasgow South Branch had agreed to be my victim. He was an unknown quantity and it didn't work out. So we abandoned that plan and just went for a nice dive to 34m.

At the surface interval we chatted, ate rolls and bacon before heading in again to complete the famous ScotSAC Master Diver Striptease or aqualung removal, swim and refit as it is more commonly called. Once that was nailed we headed down to 31m, u-turned and came back up.

That meant the Chairman had another few tasks ticked off on his journey to Master Diver.

Work Pays - 02/07/2018

Sometimes life throws up a serendipitous moment. For me work had required me to attend a meeting a few miles from my usual diving haunts. The meeting would take me to lunchtime by which point I had enough time in the bank to flexi off in the afternoon.

Jester, who never works Monday, had agreed to drive up and meet me for an afternoon dive at Seal Reef, St Catherines.

I was still without my camera so was again on the look out for things for Jester to photograph. We had been swimming about for 15 minutes when I noticed a cluster of clam shells lying outside a hole.  I peered in and saw the pulsating mass of an octopus. I signalled to Jester and showed him the hole, he looked in and wondered what I'd seen. Eventually after an underwater argument explaining what he was looking at, he reluctantly took a picture and continued the dive. 

Back on the shore we laughed. It was Jesters first ever octopus and my first ever octopus at the site. 

Work it seems pays.

The Zeppo - 28/01/2018

Herbert Manfred Marx is a name you may not instantly recognise. He was better known as Zeppo Marx the fifth, and youngest, of the Marx Brothers. HE was the straight man until he left. In life everyone takes turns at being the Zeppo. Today it was to be the Barrman's.

As it was, he and I were diving together. We decided to go deeper at St Catherine's and enjoyed a fairly pleasant bimble around the site. We had a nice enough dive, but his Zeppo moment came when we were back on the surface. As we all do, post dive the Barrman needed a pee.

We went to unzip his dry suit. It was snagged with a tooth out of position. We hummed and hawed, in the end I undertook the role of bearer of bad news and tooth remover. He needed a new zip. With that we packed up for the day.

The Instructor's Instruction - 06/01/2017

It's my first dive day of the year and I am resolved. Resolved to do more dives in more countries and more new places here in Scotland. I am also resolved to continue where I let off last year and work towards becoming a ScotSAC Branch Instructor, finish my Freediving course and do a Tri-Mix course.

So, as it happened, my first two dives of the year were as a trainee instructor at Loch Fyne's Seal Reef with my club. It was a funny arrangement working with a diver who has been described as our clubs "Scuba Diving Dark Horse", largely because of his pretty humble manner. Our first instruction dive was to be a dive lead and also a rescue skill. It  meant that we had to curiously do three dive briefings for one dive. We all chuckled at the anomaly. It seemed like overkill, but it what is.

My major take away was the SEEDS acronym.

• Safety - what do you need to know to keep you safe?
• Exercise - what is the skill we're looking to do?
• Equipment - do we need any specific equipment for this drill?
• Discipline - what's the plan and behaviours required?
• Signals - what signals are required?

We had mixed success with the actual passing of skills but we did find a lovely little nudibranch and a very pretty macropodia rostrata. So all was not lost on the pleasure front either.

The Annual 100 - 29/12/2017

It's not every year I make it to 100 dives in a calendar year. To do so, I probably have to do a dedicated dive trip to rack up a few to complement my weekly activities. I hadn't even checked my log book when Jester and I decided to brave the snow and head over to Loch Fyne.

As a precaution we took the Jeep - not one of my usual diving vehicles, but as a 4x4 ideally suited to snow covered roads. In the end it probably didn't matter. The roads were pretty clear, and to get the dramatic snow shot to the right I had to take it off the main road and into a little car park at the top of the Rest & Be Thankful.

The dive site and the water temperature were slightly warmer than they were the day before, which made for a more conducive environment for kitting up.

As it was just the two of us we went deeper and explored for a little longer. We surfaced having enjoyed some nice life and an hour or so underwater. I got home, and filled out my logbook and there it was, dive 455 was my 100th and last dive of 2017.

Once again, I'll leave you with the underwater photography of Jester.

Catshark

Nudibranch

Me

The road we came

The beach

An All Time Low - 27/12/2017

When people talk about coldwater diving they have varying degrees (if you pardon the pun) of measurement. However, for me, proximity to the -2c freezing temperature of seawater is pretty much the defining measure.

So as myself, Jester, the Walkman and Freeflow Bob headed out for a couple of dives at St Catherine's it was with interest that I noted the lowest water temperature ever recorded by my computer, 0.6c. Thankfully it was only this cold for a few metres before it warmed up to a balmy 8c. 

We kitted up buddy checked and headed in for what were to be two pretty straight forward fluffy dives to a maximum of 30m. 

I'll share some of Jester's pictures, but for me the interesting thing was the cold.

Nudi

Feeling the cold

The Cold Light of Day - 02/12/2017

After Monday's chilly 2.8c, I was keen to avoid Loch Long when Captain Al, Freeflow Bob, Fast Eddie and myself went diving on a frosty Saturday morning. The experience had taught me that it was worth taking the mobile food kitchen for half time bacon rolls.So when we trundled up to St Catherine's, Loch Fyne we were at least prepared for the cold.

It was Fast Ed's first dive back since he dived with me at Triple Reef in June, so an easy site was required and Seal Reef seemed ideal.

We weren't the only ones there, South Queensferry BSAC were across from the East Coast for some training. They seemed friendly enough despite being BSAC divers. ;)

We kitted up and split into buddy pairs of Captain Al and Fast Ed and Ol' Freeflow and me.

It was pretty uneventful but for a large school of pollack, a cushion star and some bloody Henry's. We swam back to the sure after the 35 minute announcement that Captain Al was feeling the cold. If he was feeling it then, it was about to get a whole lot worse. We swam back to the exit point. As the person leading the dive I noticed the thermocline at 4m and sat beneath it for 3 minutes. Then when the three minutes was up and everyone was clear, I turned and swam hard through the cold.

I could feel it biting at my exposed skin. We got out and I checked my computer... 2.2c!  Not the coldest I've ever experienced but getting down pretty low.

Still the promise of a roll and bacon was enough to get me back to the van. I had ear problems so I sat the second dive out and watched as my friends came back looking a little chilly. 

An Aging Wine - 25/10/2017

It is said of fine wines that they improve with age. I hope the the same is true for me. You see, Jester and I went diving the day before my 40th birthday. We headed for St Catherines hoping for cuttlefish and decent weather (according to the forecast).

As we arrived the rain poured down. It slowed to a drizzle at which point we jumped out and kitted up. Gill.I.Am, who had come for the bantz, was not impressed that she'd be stuck in the car. 

We kept it pretty shallow, heading to the boat and then onto the reef. It was a good night for life with loads of scorpionfish, cuttlefish, a few nudibranchs and a coy conger.

What was amazing was that the scorpionfish were improving with each one we found. Slowly getting bigger and bigger in size until at the end we found the daddy of them all - who was about the size of a football. Needless to say I never went too close, but Jester took a few photos.

We emerged to find Gill locked in the car, imagination running riot as she read a crime thriller. I assume the victim is killed in a parked car by a rural dive site.

Reaching out

The big yin

Play Misty For Me - 25/09/2017

Otter Ferry

After an evening camped out near the Oyster Catcher on the shores of Loch Fyne, Gill.I.Am and I headed to St Catherines to meet with the Kingmaker, the Announcer, Jester and Captain Al - who was insistent that after a considerable SCUBA lay off this didn't constitute a SCUBA refresher course.

The weather had been patchy at best, but we knew the sun was trying to breakthrough the fog and that ultimately the day would be as pleasant as the evening before. Which, by any definition, produced a beautiful sunset and a mild-ish September night ideal for van life.

The arrival at St Cats was a gloomy affair, but one ultimately lightened by the presence of the Kingmakers little 3 month old Collie pup, Misty - a name that for me always conjures images of scorned stalkers trying to kill reasonable people as a result of Clint Eastwood's 1971 classic, Play Misty for Me.

Misty

However, this little Misty's worst offence would be to lick Gill.I.Am' mug, eat some stolen grapes and chew on seaweed.

To add further intrigue to the day Jester had brought some masks and kit from LOMO, the watersports company for which he works. The hope was that we could get some natty pictures of it being modelled. However, given the collection of faces involved our chances of success were only ever going to be 50/50 - and I'll say no more about that.

Our first dive was leisurely and limited to the 30m 'shallows'. I buddied Captain Al in the event that after his lay off he was feeling a little rusty, but in the end it was all OK and the dive yielded a nice scorpion fish and a lobster amongst the teeming reef life.

However, disaster struck as I left the water and dekitted. I must have twisted and pinched a nerve in my back, leading to pins and needles in my legs. As a precaution, the Kingmaker called his better half - an A&E consultant - who reassured me that given our dive profile, easy ascent, safety stops etc it was unlikely to be a bend and more likely to be a pinching prolapsed disc of some sort. Either way I was under doctors orders not to dive again.

As a result, I got to be official photographer, enjoy my litle BBQ, the sunshine and Misty. A pretty sweet deal I think.

Fin modelling

Blue Steel

Fog, before it worsened.

Official Captain Al

The First Tango in the Dark - 16/09/2017

My club had planned to dive at the Farne Islands this weekend, but that was kiboshed by the unpredictable nature of East Coast weather. By way of contrast West Coast weather was looking great. The club then decided to have a small camp out at St Catherine's and potentially a night dive.

So I invited Jester to be my guest for the evening now that he had overcome a bout of Common Cold / Manflu / Manthrax / Unspecified Certain Death.*

I had been invited to dive the SS Kintyre the next day by the Wylie Fox and Jester was going to accompany me. So it seemed sensible for him to dust down his deep diving skills ** and prep for the next day.

I had expected a few members to join us, but their preference, after a hard days diving, was to enjoy a bottle of wine on the beach round the campfire. So we kitted up alone in the dark and headed down.

It was funny, because before we went in we had wondered if we'd see any old night diving chums such as sepiola atlantica. As it was we did, along with a catshark, a few nudis, sticklebacks, cushion stars etc.

It seemed Jester was ready to return to some sensible diving.

* Delete as appropriate

** He has none, this is a joke

Smoke On The Water... -08/08/2017

Fire in the sky

As everyone knows when there's smoke on the water, there's fire in the sky. Tuesday was no exception as Jester, the Announcer joined me and some member of my dive club diving at St Cats, Loch Fyne.

For Jester and I it represented out third straight day diving. Tonight, to compensate for the moisture build up in our drysuits from not being able to dry them properly we were having a BBQ and a bonfire - the latter to be tended faithfully by the Jesterlings while papa bear went in for a couple of dives.

The weather had turned (for the better) and our only real fear were midgies. However, the bonfire would ensure that even they stayed away.

We kitted up, buddy checked and then descended. Almost immediately the Announcer and I saw what we think was a young, female John Dory, but I wasn't quick enough with the camera. As it was the Announcer was having some ear troubles so I spent the rest of the dive with one eye on her making sure that nothing went wrong.

Our second dive which took place after the above sunset was going to be a short one with Jester making do with the air in the remainder of his tank (with a pony for backup). However, it was nice to diving again in the inky blackness of night. On our way back up we both killed our torches and waved our hands firing up the sparkle of bioluminescence. 

John Dory - 14/07/2017

When we set out for an evening dive at St Catherines, Loch Fyne we never expected anything special. Some midgies, a gentle swim round the reef, some sea life, some more midgies and then the drive home. We didnt imagine we'd see anything rare. However on the drive up I got to thinking about those one in a hundred dives when you sea something that is possible to see but improbable at a given site. For example, the time when Jester and saw Lithodes Maja - possible, but improbable.

Often to see these things you have to go deeper or further than the well worn and fin kicked trails made by many of the local dive schools. It is perhaps why many regular instructors are oblivious to some of the best life at many of the sites and, more importantly, why divers have to get out and explore beyond their usual routines - my theme for the year.

However, all of us were surprised when the Kingmaker spotted a fish that I haven't seen in over 400 dives. We weren't deep, we weren't on the far side of the reef, we were just in the right place at the right time when a John Dory was hovering about. In his excitement, the Kingmaker had nudged up a little silt, but I snapped it, watched it and then left Jester to get the money shot with his fancier camera rig.

Whatever else happened on the dive was neither here nor there, we had been rewarded for venturing out amongst the angry midgies.

John Dory

Devonshire Cup Coral

Limacia Clavigera

Limacia Clavigera

Limacia Clavigera

Deep Rescue - 08/07/17

The ScotSAC Deep Rescue course is a requirement for a number of things. First, and my primary reason for wanting to do it, it is a prerequisite for undertaking ScotSAC's 50m qualification.It is also required by all divers wishing to obtain the First Class Diver Award.

Our club BDO had arranged for the course to take place at Seal Reef, St Catherines and all I had to do was provide a willing corpse and let's be honest, Jester would do for that! 

So off down to 30m we went Jester 'died' underwater and I begn the lift under the watchful eye of the regional instructor. It wasn't pretty as I reached 20m Jester began falling between my legs pulling me into a horizontal position - the natural position for my twinset and wing. I wasn't going to recover that - at least in my head - and any attempt to do so would of perhaps risked an uncontrolled ascent. I called cut and we descended and pottered about before coming back up. 

My second attempt went better we got all the way up without any difficulty and the only problem was applying the brakes for the safety stop. I did, just in time, but it reminded me of the moment when the lights change just before you reach them and you have to brake hard.

Quite a reintroduction to cold water diving.