Blame It On The Weatherman - 16/03/2019

I'm not entirely Bewitched were correct when they decided to blame the weatherman, but I had set aside this day as day when I'd take students training months ago. Then when the forecast came out it was for bad weather.

We were valiant. I mean, fighting throw the snow storm to get there. Kitting up in high winds and blizzard. Entering the water with a surface current and waves. Going down in what seemed like zero visibility. 

However, we were then rewarded with a calm dive around the Frames. Malky saw his first shark. We surfaced and the rest of the gang all agreed that a trip to the Village Inn seemed like a better idea than a second dive.

Mind the Gap - 28/12/2018

The gap between Christmas and New Year is a sacred time when divers who:

a: wish to off gas excess turkey & trimmings
b: are full of festive cheer
c: climbing the walls with boredom

...can all get together and have a wee dive.

We had a fairly meaty group of six divers who all went in and out safely. There is little to say about it. Other than in his excitement to show me a pipefish, the trainee I took in unleashed a tsunami of silt that obscured half the loch. :)

Deepest Night - 05/12/2018

I'm not depth junkie, although those who only ever dive to 20m say that I am. Meanwhile those who dive regularly below 50m just laugh at the absurdity that I might be. However, I do enjoy taking people deeper than they've gone before, especially at night. They seem to be thrilled at the end of the night. So when I took StewPatz and Freeflow Bob for a 31m night dive at the A-Frames I was quite tickled.

It almost never happened when one of our divers, I shan't say 'Stew', forgot fins and his weightbelt, but somehow we cobbled together enough weight and a spare pair of fins from nowhere.

We kitted up and headed spotting some cracking life:

• a snake blennie
• a cuttlefish
• deeplet anemones
• firework anemones
• nudibranchs

We emerged, delighted with out hall and two divers thrilled that they'd done more than 31m at night.

Hello Goodbye - 22/01/2018

A Kell's Eye View

After a recurrence of an ear infection had kept me out of the water for another too weeks. However, when Hell's Kells says she want to squeeze in a check dive before she boards a plane to Belize with a one ticket it's kinda hard to stay out of the water.

We met up at our usual haunt and headed (due to time constraints) to the A-Frames in Loch Long for a blisteringly cold dive.

Unusually, there was quite a lot of boat traffic. I suspect as a  result of a recent tragedy in a nearby loch. A timely reminder, if it was needed, that our loch's are safe, but danger is never too far away.

As it was, our dive plan was simple:

• Kit up & buddy check
• Go down
• Check the kit
• Swim about until one of us felt cold 
• Surface safely

We stuck to it rigidly, stopping only to enjoy the odd nudibranch,, an anemone and for me to be me and write rude things in the silt. :)

We surfaced with Hell's Kell's reckoning that was the best and coldest she'd ever seen in the loch. At less than 2c in the water it was certainly cold.

With that we headed back to Glasgow where Hell's Kells waited 48 hours and then caught a flight to Belize. Very much a case of Hello, Goodbye.

The Dive Whisperer - 05/11/2017

With the Barrman finalising his instructor training he had asked me if I'd come out with the guys from the club to buddy his Landlady for a couple if dives. Now the poor Landlady has spent much of the last year or so unable to dive, while the Barrman has had the diving time of his life. This was therefore a chance for the Landlady to skill up while diving with one of the greatest dive ninjas in a very small geographical area.

With that we had a chat about what we'd do. I explained how the A-Frames works. We set some limits and off we went. On the first dive I could tell she was a bit nervous - being a little unsure of the site and not a fan of poor visibility. However, decent training always kicks in even throughout the dive her breathing rate slowed.

We came out chatted about and then set off to dive the same route again. This time she was calmer, smoother in the water. The presence of the mighty Frewbowski was making a difference.

In fact, in-depth scientific analysis* proved that her air consumption fell by 15% throughout the day. I should really call myself the Dive Whisperer.

We saw some cool stuff too:

• Highland dancers
• Lobster
• Conger

......And the Barrman passed his instructor training.

The dive crew for the day

* I calculated her SAC rate

The Rush to Africa - 17/11/2017

When a buddy asked me to do a couple of dives on a Friday night so he could get to 96 dives, to enable his 100th dive in South Africa I greed. However, he wasn't an experienced night diver. so I asked around and found a third buddy to join us. I'd never met the guy but he had some PADI training and also GUE training. That was good enough for me to know that he was at least competent in the water with the right kit!

We met up....late and with new time constraints headed to the A-Frames. We did the first the dive which Gooey Ryan declared was the best he'd ever had at the site, Apparently, despite diving here with numerous instructors he'd never explored much further than the big frame.

I chuckled internally when he asked me what heading I'd taken to get to each of the frames. I haven't used a compass at that site in about four years. :)

We spotted a conger, sea lemon, cuttlefish, deeplet anemone - there was some good stuff on show.

I emerged and my left ear was gubbed, but Gooey Ryan was good enough to take Michael in for a quick second. Everyone was happy.

96 en route to Africa

The Quadrocentenarian - 06/08/2017

My own 400th dive took place with little fanfare - it was a pretty unimpressive dive with little to talk about. The Mermaid, however, had gathered quite a troop on top of those already visiting the A-Frames. 

Due to the weather (and the site) I had only wanted to do one dive on arrival and so most of the gang went for a splash and emerged with news of highland dancers and good visibility. Buoyed, I kitted up preparing to dive with the Mermaid on what would be her 400th dive.

Now, I suppose, it shouldn't have been a great dive. At best it should have been an average dive, but Poseidon himself was smiling as the Mermaid joined the 400 club. The visibility at site was easily around 6m and the water was tail end of summer warm at around 13c.

This drew forth life and, as had been noticed by Jester on an earlier dive, highland dancers - a nudibranch that neither of us have seen in a while. 

The Mermaid had a whale of a time (sans cetaceans) and emerged a quadrocentenarian and what's more, she only fell over once. She might be getting used to this diving malarky.

The Squad and Did's Death Box

 

400

Closed anemone

Pink spotted sea cucumber

Highland Dancer

Conger

Emerging Quadrocentenarian

Twin Set & Pearls - 24/06/2017

It's no secret that since the start of the year I have put a concerted effort into getting 'more qualified' as part of a push to get myself ready for some more ambitious dives. My plan at the start of the year was to:

1. Finish the ScotSAC Master Diver Qualification
2. Do ScotSAC Deep Rescue
3. Do ScotSAC Deep Diving (50m)
4. Do BSAC Accelerated Decompression Procedures

With number 1 complete and 2 & 3 organised for July and October respectively, 4 had been cancelled for June. As such, I had a little window for some training. So with just seven twin set dives under my belt I decided to do the PADI Twin Set  Distinctive Speciality Course with an instructor friend - Lifeboatman Ken.  If you're interested in learning more about the course you can click here, but if you're in Scotland and interested in doing it message me and I'll pass your details onto Lifeboatman Ken.

When I arrived Lifeboatman Ken was waiting along with a few familiar faces who had decided on the same location for a Saturday morning.

It's been a few years since I've done a PADI qualification and to be honest I forgot the repetition of many of the skills one must demonstrate, Skills, that personally, I'd just take for granted - maintain control of your buoyancy, perform a safety stop, etc. Other skills included practicing going along on your side, sharing air..... but not shutdown drills - which to be honest I would of expected as part of the course.

As such, the real value of the course was just spending one on one time with a guy who has over 1,000 twin set dives. That's where the true pearls of wisdom are.

So what did I pick up? Well...

• where to put my reel & SMP that bests secures my long hose
• good tips for equipment doffing and donning in the water
• better ways to set up my regulators 
• more experience of diving with the twins

Well, that's another card for the folder. Next up for me in terms of training? ScotSAC Deep Rescue in July, but before that, time for something fluffier in warmer waters.

Sunday Drive - 29/01/2017

I had decided to take Gill.I.Am's fancy jeep for a Sunday drive and a trip to the A-Frames. Gill.I.Am even came too, but not to dive, just to feast in Costa and join us for a late lunch at the Malt & Myre. It fell, therefore, on Jester and I to do the actual diving.

At the sight we met some old friends who advised us that the visibility was a bit rubbish. Undeterred we headed in. Jester's camera failed almost instantly so we just spent an hour pottering about going from frame to frame.

The visibility wasn't really that bad - at least 4m. I wondered if it was because our old chums were diving with scub-newbs. My suspicions were confirmed as we neared the end of our dive and we passed a group of three of the divers. Two of them, not the dive leader I hasten to add, were kicking up so much silt that I was unsurprised by their initial assessment. I looked at Jester and he was obviously thinking the same thing, as the moment we made eye contact he picked up a handful of silt and threw it in the air. 

I mean, they were terrible - kit dragging, arms flapping, flutter kicks and bouncing along the bottom. I know we've all been there  learning to dive, but it made me wonder why they don't teach frog kicking as a matter of course before divers get in the water.

Still our dive at depths far below the newbs were diving was pretty good as was lunch at the Malt & Myre.

Happy New Year - 31/12/2015

Our plan had been to do two dives, with our second straddling what we call 'the bells' here in Scotland. Myself and Jester were buddying up while the Mermaid and friend George teamed up. We were diving the A-Frames in Loch Long.

A recent break in at my house meant that I was diving on a borrowed torch. I prefer to dive at night with at least two torches, but in such circumstances this is not always possible.  The result was few photographs were taken.

We headed in for our first dive and went down for a bimble around the frames. There really wasn't too much life, but Jester did spot a nice cup coral that I spectacularly failed to photograph.

We split as a larger group underwater and I wondered where the Mermaid and her buddy were, but we continued on, having a nice but cold time.

Back on the surface we discovered the Mermaid wasn't feeling well, but had started 'cooking' up rolls and sausage. We all bit into tepid sausages before deciding that too many factors were working against us and we didn't want to go back in for a second dive.

Still, Hogmanay, comes round like clockwork every year. There's always this year.

The Drysuit Cometh - 22/10/2015

Having ordered a new O'Three drysuit Saturday it had arrived by Thursday enabling a trip with the Zookeeper out to Loch Long and the A-Frames. The Aquatron school was out teaching the PADI Night Speciality (probably the most fun PADI Speciality if you are choosing to go down the PADI route).  

The nature of the night speciality training meant that with the minimum of alteration to our dive plan we could entirely avoid the training area. We did, admirably.  Circling round the far side of the big frame we encountered some nice feather stars and a couple of what I think are horseman anemones, I'm not really an expert.

From there it was down deeper and round for some feeding of Colin The-Conger. I'm not saying disaster struck, but from this point the dive was a bit downhill. Having forgotten to fully charge my Mares Eos10r I had a bit of a blackout. Switching torches meant that I spent the rest of the dive using an old torch with the same number of lumens as a roasted parsnip. I wasn't concerned. 

As I was leading us back, the Zookeeper offered me her primary, but it really wasn't worth it. I reckon I could get back to safety with no light at that sight. A challenge which I might attempt at some point.

During the safety stop I showed the Zookeeper some of my photos. They were pretty poor. In fact, some might say rotten. Anyway, that was enough to have us chuckling as we surfaced. Much to the bemusement of the Aquatron crew who wondered if we'd be eating the magic anenomes  around the site. Good times. Oh, and the drysuit? Very nice, very nice.

Horseman Anemone

Horseman Anemone

Feather star

Red Gurnard

Colin

With Friends Like These Who Needs Anemones - 13/06/2015

Diving at the A-Frames wasn't really the dive I wanted to do this weekend, but it was where we ended up. Myself Jester and Captain Al met up with the Chuckle Brothers of underwater photography.

We dived as a three and had planned to go down to 30+m on the first dive, but mask troubles and an an uncomfortable testing of a pony configuration had meant Captain Al sensibly wasn't risking it. We passed from Frame to Frame before heading up having passed a few nice little critters in the water.

Dive two was to be the more eventful of the two. Our plan remained the same as the first assuming everyone felt comfortable. So off we went to dive down.

It was all going to plan and Captain Al led us down to the large frame before we turned and headed deeper. His initial target was what we call the deep frame, but he headed off on the wrong heading. A mistake which was to ultimately make the dive far more interesting.

As we veered off course we came over a part of the site that I've never been to. There were a number of excellent deeplet and firework anemones. which had I not been waiting for new Moisture Munchers I'd have photographed. Jester was trying to photograph them but the jet wash of a fast finning, excited Captain Al meant that:

1. silt was making for poor photographs
2. we'd have been separated as a group in the limited visibility

While bridging the gap between us I suggested to Jester that he leave them for now and follow Al to our doom or at least the end of the dive. :)

After the dive Jester and I discussed it. We'll go back soon with the sole purpose of photographing the anemone garden.

Scuba Doo and the Mysteries of the Deep (Halloween Special) - 30/10/2014

The following is based on true events*. Caution, contains paragraphs of extended peril.

As part of our preparation for our pending trip to Egypt the Zookeeper and I have decided to do a few deep dives to build up our depth resistance. When I say 'deep' I mean over 30m - not 18m-30m  which PADI defines as a deep dive. To us, that's just a dive. However, tonight was the night before All Hallows Eve when everything in this land of ancient lochs, mountains and glens is creepier and the veil between this world and the other is at its thinnest.

The devil tank

Meeting at Aquatron there were some strange happenings. Noises in the attic of the shop, unexplained bumps. AVL was spooked, Gentle Ben was spooky (let's be honest he's always a little creepy) and Bret had a very sensible explanation. 

After considering a few options the Zookeeper and I headed off into the night. Recent weather had caused landslips on a number of key roads to some of our favourite sites, it seemed that fate was pointing us to Loch Long and the A-Frames. The drive was lengthened by thick fog banks and mysterious military vehicles.

Old Man Creeperson's House

When we got to the site, it was dark and fog was hanging menacingly over the loch. I had built my kit up previously and as I got my own kit out of the car I looked round to sea the Zookeepers scuba set hissing and glowing a devilish red. Meanwhile two workers at Old Man Creeperson's house emerged, boarded a clattering boat and steamed out into the fog and gloom. We never saw them again.

While buddy checking, we discovered that only I had a backup light (which wasn't ideal). It didn't change our pre-dive plan though. Dive to the big frame, head down past the deep frame then keep going to a maximum depth of 35m. Once we were in the water the dive was going to plan until we hit 30m when my my primary torch failed - for a moment I was engulfed in darkness. This meant switching to my backup. Now, with no backup lights left between us we took the sensible decision to turn back.

Having encountered our old friend Davey Jones the Cuttlefish and what the Zookeeper told me was a school of whiting on the way down. The mysteries of the deep began to attack!

First the shrimp swarmed to our dive lights, attempting to penetrate our masks and regulators. Then a firework anemone exploded before us. Then came the the attack of the killer catshark. Fighting them off with just our cameras we escaped to the shallows. Butj ust as we thought we had reached safety the ebbing tide and down current attempted to haul us to a watery hell, but we fought against it, finning for our lives. The deep would not take us.

Dekitting and packing the car we drove off. As we sped to safety all I could here was the rattle of something outside the car. I had heard the story of The Hook before. I knew how this could go down. I stopped ina parking bay, walked round the car and then.......

Fear not readers, I still got home in plenty of time to write this so clearly nothing bad actually happened....to me. Anyway, back to  account....

....I saw the Zookeepers mobile phone charger hanging from the door. What a klutz!

As it's Halloween, if you genuinely want a scuba scare, I thoroughly recommend this little vimeo. One Last Dive.

*All events have been exaggerated.  

Davey Jones the Cuttlefish

Firework Anemone

Catshark

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men - 04/07/2014

TDFKAMF and The Beast

TDFKAMF and I had decided we'd go look for Thornback Rays in Loch Fyne. However, the moment we jumped into the car we heard on the wireless (yip, that's what I call a radio) that the road from Loch Long to Loch Fyne was shut because of an accident. Instead we headed for The Caves, Loch Long, followed by a second dive at the A-Frames.

I knew from the night before that the vis was going to be at best 2-4m. Moreover, we could hear fisherman down the banks. So we went and had a chat. They were decent guys prepared to look out for our bubbles. In addition, I offered some free fintell (fish intelligence) about the sea bed and why they snagged their lines. Ebony and Ivory living in perfect harmony.

The Caves has been missing its guide rope through the tunnel for sometime, so after a careful descent we headed down to around 25m. It was TDFKAMF's first time at the site. I think he enjoyed it.

Amongst the usual life were a myriad of moon jellyfish, horseman anemone, bloody henry and the amazing starfish and its shadow. :)

While at the deep end of the dive I spotted a 20m length of rope. It was attached to a weight which TDFKAMF promptly cut as I gathered it up for the return journey. 

Once back at the surface three divers were staggering down through the site to begin their dive. Without my glasses it took me a while to recognise the faces - but the voices and the hair of Gentle Ben alerted me to their identities. Two member for of the Aquatron team and a third mystery lady named Jenny. Presumably, she had been tricked into diving with Gentle Ben by her husband, Polite Mark. :) Some banter and the promise of a rope for their return exit meant we had a laugh as we squeezed past on the rock face. Polite Mark remarked the next day in shop that he thought it strange that I had taken 20m of climbing rope with me on my dive. How was he to know I'd found it underwater?

TDFKAMF and I set to work - still fully kitted - to re-assemble the safety line. Polite Mark remarked that he found very useful on his way back up. Mission accomplished I'd say.

Dekitting quickly in the midgie infested lay-by we headed to the A-Frames for a pretty routine dive during which nothing particularly interesting or remarkable happened. Although I did bump into a piece of wreckage that I found on my first ever dive at the site more than two years ago. I got a little nostalgic.

Moon Jellyfish

Moon jellyfish

The Amazing Starfish and its Shadow

Horseman Anemone

The Gathered Rope

Bloody Henry

The A Team

Re-roping the tunnel

Re-roping the tunnel

Edible Crab

Camo'd Spider Crab

Shore Crab

At last look back

The Lure of the Village Inn - 21/06/2014

Since discovering the pleasure of blue water diving in tropical climates, Gillian (my wife) has been reluctant to don a drysuit and plunge into the temperate waters of Scotland. However, with the six month sword of Damocles hanging over her head G had reluctantly agreed to go diving, but with the promise of 'lunner' (the combination of late lunch / early dinner) post dive at the Village Inn, Arrochar.

The dive venue was to be the A-Frames, as we knew Captain Al and his Something for the Weekend crew were going there for dives and a BBQ. We arrived just as the group were scoffing the last of their charred sausages and getting ready for the second dive. Deep Blue Scuba were also at the site, causing parking problems. 

G and I kitted up and went in on our own. It was to be a pretty standard dive down to the big frame, then a wee play in the shallows. The silt had been kicked up a little, but for the most part it was OK.

I found a nice wee sea cucumber introduced Gill to its amazing disappearing act. She was suitably impressed. On the frame itself I also spotted a nice Bloody Henry. 

Into the shallows and I handed the camera to Gill.

A dive to 18m for 35 minutes and then a trip up the road to the Inn for a chicken burger and beef burger. Each was halved and shared.

Starfish Orgy - Gill

Us Selfie

Gill

Bloody Henry 

Tiny starfish on seaweed - Gill