Scuba Doo and the Mysteries of the Deep (Halloween Special) - 30/10/2014

The following is based on true events*. Caution, contains paragraphs of extended peril.

As part of our preparation for our pending trip to Egypt the Zookeeper and I have decided to do a few deep dives to build up our depth resistance. When I say 'deep' I mean over 30m - not 18m-30m  which PADI defines as a deep dive. To us, that's just a dive. However, tonight was the night before All Hallows Eve when everything in this land of ancient lochs, mountains and glens is creepier and the veil between this world and the other is at its thinnest.

The devil tank

Meeting at Aquatron there were some strange happenings. Noises in the attic of the shop, unexplained bumps. AVL was spooked, Gentle Ben was spooky (let's be honest he's always a little creepy) and Bret had a very sensible explanation. 

After considering a few options the Zookeeper and I headed off into the night. Recent weather had caused landslips on a number of key roads to some of our favourite sites, it seemed that fate was pointing us to Loch Long and the A-Frames. The drive was lengthened by thick fog banks and mysterious military vehicles.

Old Man Creeperson's House

When we got to the site, it was dark and fog was hanging menacingly over the loch. I had built my kit up previously and as I got my own kit out of the car I looked round to sea the Zookeepers scuba set hissing and glowing a devilish red. Meanwhile two workers at Old Man Creeperson's house emerged, boarded a clattering boat and steamed out into the fog and gloom. We never saw them again.

While buddy checking, we discovered that only I had a backup light (which wasn't ideal). It didn't change our pre-dive plan though. Dive to the big frame, head down past the deep frame then keep going to a maximum depth of 35m. Once we were in the water the dive was going to plan until we hit 30m when my my primary torch failed - for a moment I was engulfed in darkness. This meant switching to my backup. Now, with no backup lights left between us we took the sensible decision to turn back.

Having encountered our old friend Davey Jones the Cuttlefish and what the Zookeeper told me was a school of whiting on the way down. The mysteries of the deep began to attack!

First the shrimp swarmed to our dive lights, attempting to penetrate our masks and regulators. Then a firework anemone exploded before us. Then came the the attack of the killer catshark. Fighting them off with just our cameras we escaped to the shallows. Butj ust as we thought we had reached safety the ebbing tide and down current attempted to haul us to a watery hell, but we fought against it, finning for our lives. The deep would not take us.

Dekitting and packing the car we drove off. As we sped to safety all I could here was the rattle of something outside the car. I had heard the story of The Hook before. I knew how this could go down. I stopped ina parking bay, walked round the car and then.......

Fear not readers, I still got home in plenty of time to write this so clearly nothing bad actually happened....to me. Anyway, back to  account....

....I saw the Zookeepers mobile phone charger hanging from the door. What a klutz!

As it's Halloween, if you genuinely want a scuba scare, I thoroughly recommend this little vimeo. One Last Dive.

*All events have been exaggerated.  

Davey Jones the Cuttlefish

Firework Anemone

Catshark